Road Trip
by Songstone
Summary: In which Deidara learns never to eat tuna at a gas station again. -Rated for food poisoning...Side story to 'Mania'-


**Road Trip**

**A story by Songstone**

**Songstone: Well, this is a side story for "Mania," another story that I had written a lot time ago. XD I wanna finish Mania, but I got distracted with all my other ideas. I was gonna have this happen in the actual story, but...nah. So, this takes place a little while before the actual story starts. Just so you know!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

Deidara was _not_ in the cheeriest of moods at the moment.

"Itachi...you're being unfair. Un." He grumbled to his dark haired friend. "Please..."

"No, Deidara. For the last time." The Uchiha responded, not taking his eyes off of the long, Arizona road that lay stretched out before him as he drove.

Really, why did they listen to Hidan's bright idea? Driving from Texas to California instead of doing it the easy way and flying? That was ridiculous!

Male Bonding Time, he said...tch. They lived together, went to school together, occasionally fucked together...what more 'bonding time' did they need?

"Aw, c'mon, blondie! You're fine." Hidan assured Deidara as he peered back at the other from the passenger seat in the front of the car. "Just...sit back, relax. Take a nap or something."

"I can't, un!" Deidara protested, swallowing thickly and wrapping one arm around his stomach.

"Deidara. Stop faking. We are _not _going to stop just for you to puke up your lunch." Itachi said with a firm shake of the head.

"But Ita--"

"No."

"Bastard." Two sets of eyes shifted over to Hidan, who was currently covering his mouth with one hand, looking as apologetic as he could through the fervent blinking he'd started doing. "My bad."

"S'fine." Deidara muttered, while Itachi just gave a gruff nod. They were used to Hidan's sudden sputter of words by now, anyway; last month he had used the word 'metal' during tics. Why he had suddenly started to blurt out swear words would always remain a mystery...

A pregnant silence filled the car for about ten seconds before Deidara leaned forward from the backseat, hands on the armrest between his two friends.

"Itachi...un...please..." He said, reaching up to tug lightly on the red shirt the other wore.

"Deidara..." The Uchiha began, exasperated.

"No, no! I'm not kidding, un! I really do feel sick!" The youngest male pleaded, trying to get his friends to listen to him.

"Dei, c'mon. That excuse isn't going to work forever." Hidan warned him, wagging a finger in front of the blond before he kicked his shoes off and let them rest on the dashboard.

Deidara whined, leaning back into his seat and hugging his waist with both arms.

Well, he supposed that it was his own fault that his friends didn't believe he was really ill. Being bulimic made it hard for other's to believe him when he said he felt sick; it just seemed like one big fib to them.

How could he blame them for denying him the opportunity to do something so harmful to his body? They were both concerned for him, is all.

Too bad that this time he wasn't lying.

Deidara blamed the tuna sandwich he'd eaten at a gas station quite a while back. He knew better than to eat at such places, but he was hungry. Plus, he had Itachi and Hidan bugging him to eat something, so what choice did he have?

"Ita...chi...un..." Deidara tried one last time, his voice breaking into another small whimper.

Hidan chanced a glance over his shoulder at that, frowning slightly as he caught sight of his friend. Deidara's brow was glistening with a cold sweat and his skin had paled to a deathly white colour; he was looking up at Hidan with glazed over blue eyes, obviously pleading with him silently.

"Hey...'Tachi." The white haired man said, cutting the other off before he could tell Deidara 'no'. "I don't think he's faking..." He muttered, his mouth making the occasional 'o' shape as the tics returned.

"What--" Itachi didn't even get to finish his sentence.

Deidara had jerked forward with a retch, lowering his head between his legs as he spilled his stomach's contents onto the floor of the car.

"...Oh _God_!" Were the first words that Itachi could muster as he grimaced, peering at Deidara from the corner of his eye. He quickly stepped down on the break and maneuvered the car to the side of the empty desert road.

"I fucking told you!" Hidan wailed, shooting forward in his seat quickly and whirling to face Deidara. He practically kneeled on the armrest as he reached to the backseat, gathering up locks of blond hair to hold for his friend. He tried to ignore the smell for the time being, too.

The blond coughed, gagged, and then vomited again as his stomach heaved violently, making his body shudder. He made a whimpering sort of moaning sound, and gripped onto the back of the driver's seat for support.

"Dei, you all right?" Itachi asked after he had slipped out from the front seat and opened the door to the back. He crawled only halfway inside of the vehicle before the smell hit him and he had to stop. He held his breath and lightly rubbed circles on the other's back to try and soothe him.

"We gotcha, blondie." Hidan added, still holding the long blond hair from the boy's face.

He heard Deidara mumble something, and then give a small hiccup. Slowly, the other eased back into his seat, and Hidan released his hair.

Deidara took a few swallows of air, and then looked sideways at Itachi, rivulets of vomit leaking from the corners of his mouth. "T-told you so...u-un..."

The raven haired man only rolled his eyes and snorted before he grabbed ahold of the other's arm, gently easing him out from the car and holding him up. "Fine, I'm sorry." He apologized. "Sit." He then instructed, pointing to the back of the car.

Deidara gave a short nod, and with Hidan's help he was seated over the trunk of the car, blowing his nose and cleaning up as best as he could with a handkerchief.

"Well...euew..." Hidan grumbled as he looked back into the backseat of the car.

"Mhm. And it's at least ten more miles until we reach another town where we can clean up." Itachi nodded, sighing softly and shaking his head.

From somewhere at the back of the vehicle, both men heard a very soft "Sorry, un" from Deidara.

"Naw, don't worry!" Hidan waved his hand lightly. He involuntarily swore in the next second, mouth going into odd shapes while he blinked his eyes roughly. "You're sick. Wasn't your fault."

"Yeah. We'll just clean up with some dirty clothes or something." Itachi said with a shrug. He grabbed a couple of bottles of water that they had been keeping up front and walked back to Deidara, handing one to the blond to drink and rinse his mouth. He uncapped the other bottle and grabbed some of his friend's hair, splashing some of the liquid there to help get the throw up out.

"Thanks Itachi...un." Deidara said, gratefully taking a swig of water and then spitting towards the ground once his mouth was somewhat clean.

Hidan didn't seem happy to be the one left to clean up the inside of the car, but he did so anyway, using some of their dirty laundry to mop up the regurgitated meal on the floor of the car. When he had gotten most of it out, he simply tossed all the clothes onto the side of the road. No one was going to want to wear them again now.

"I think we're good up here! How're you feeling now, Dei?" The pink orbs shifted towards the back of the car where Itachi was still using the bottle of water to help clean the blond off.

"I-I'm fine. Un." Deidara answered with a small smile.

"He has a slight fever." Itachi contradicted. He guessed that this was brought on by food poisoning given how quickly the symptoms showed up and were fading. "We'll get to town and pick up some medicine for that. In the mean time, out of those dirty clothes."

The blond only quirked a brow, watching Itachi warily. Who could blame him? Hearing that coming from someone they all knew as a hypersexual wasn't so comforting after he'd just been sick.

The Uchiha gave a roll of his red eyes and tugged the blond's shirt. "They're dirty, Deidara. You can change into clean ones; no one else is out here besides us."

"Mm..." With a nod, the youngest male hopped down from the car and slid his shirt off of his shoulders, tossing it away with the rest that Hidan had thrown to the side of the road. His pants met the same fate, leaving him just in boxers.

"Actually, can I just lie down? I'll change when we get off somewhere, un..." Deidara said. And one look at the guy made both Itachi and Hidan nod in agreement; he seemed tired. He might have been used to the vomiting, but the fever and whatever other symptoms he had must have been unpleasant.

"Ready for those ten miles?" Itachi asked his white haired companion as they shut the doors after Deidara had crawled into the back, curling up under a blanket to sleep.

"Tch. Yeah, we can take 'em." Hidan snorted, plopping himself back into the passenger side. "Bastard." He winced at the bad timing, the action lost in the series of spasms in his face and neck.

But Itachi just smirked and nodded his head, rolling down all the windows in the car before he took off driving again.

Both men peered back at Deidara occasionally, making sure he was all right. He seemed to be resting easy, so there was no threat there. However, after at least twenty minutes in silence, Itachi finally glanced over at Hidan.

"Do you think it was wrong of me to have been checking out his ass when he was sick?" The Uchiha asked, all seriousness on his face. As always.

Hidan was silent for a moment, and then he laughed heartily, playfully sending a fist into Itachi's arm while he nodded. "You're going to hell, man."

**Songstone: Hope this didn't gross anyone out. XD But I wanted to show how brotherly Hidan could be to Deidara when he needs to be. SO cute. And Itachi...well...What can you expect? XD R&R please.  
**


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